Unable to speak

It has been so long since my last post and there is a good reason for this. I just simply could not bring myself to write for various reasons. We have been through so many ups and downs, so many things we have laughed and cried about. Every time I have sat down to write I have been unable to because the things I really want to write about may get misinterpreted into what I do not mean. The things so close to my heart seem to be the very things I can't share with anyone.

Today though... I have decided that I will give it a go and see what happens.

Hmmmm, where to start.

Finances, this has been one of the biggest areas that we have been tested in and seen God come through on but I have not felt I wanted to write about it for fear that it will be interpreted that I am asking for money. Although I know my own motives, not everyone will. There are still things we are trusting God for with finances, some really big things but I still don't feel I can truly speak my heart on these things. God has taught us so so much and we are still in the process of learning.

Our business is still not up and running and we have not made a cent since coming here, (DH) is at a meeting tonight for a potential business opportunity. We are just praying for God's guidance but more for perseverance so we do not become despondent.

It is almost like we are in two separate worlds at times. We are loving India and loving the people but then the realities of life are still here and at times we feel that we are not really giving anything yet, that we are not making any difference at all. I am so ready to get my teeth into something but it needs to be in God's timing and at this point there is no clear green light.

I guess we are stuck in the limbo place of getting prepared and learning. It's like we are on the starting blocks of a race waiting to hear the gun go. It's tempting at times to jump the gun and make things happen but we also know that we will just end up on the starting blocks again.

We have many things that we will need to start preparing for soon, new passport for (DH), visa extension (this is no picnic in India). we just have to trust that God has called us here and so he will sort it all out.

I feel like I am only scratching the very surface of whats in my heart and how I am feeling but I guess it's a start.

My parents and brother have not long left after visiting so I shall write about that in another post. It was a fun time.