Update

Although my previous post has only just gone up. I had been writing it for a few days but had not published it. So I just published it as it was. We have since had a couple of things happen.
We had a meeting about the girls home and it seems that the role they would like to see us in would be not so much overseeing (phew) but by helping out with English, computer training, possible start up of a church and just being there at the home as a kind of parental/people manager. Not quite sure how to explain it. I am just relieved they don't want us to run the whole place as had first been mentioned by one lady. I would rather be a more practical doer than admin.

The time frame of when this would happen is still up in the air. We are talking through whether we need to get the business sorted first so we can see how much David will be away or travelling before we commit to anything. Yet, we both want to be there. I know that God will show us as we keep practicing patience.

So so much has happened

Our trip to the girls home was exciting. I felt that jump inside me of anticipation and before we left I had already moved in in my heart.

There has been so much happening and so many things slotting into place. There are a lot of i's that are not quite dotted but feel very close to it. We are waiting to have meetings with people to find out some definite's. Things like the possibility of moving down to the girls home and school to oversee it, sorting out accommodation and where we will be living when we get back from NZ. Will we be moving straight away to the girls home or will there be time in between? Also business prospects that are not yet set in stone but could be huge for us, meetings need to happen to how this will fit in with the girls home. Will David be commuting? What visa do we apply for to come back to India? All these things are slowly falling into place and it is all happening suddenly, sounds like a contradiction but it's how it feels.

On a different note, we had a wonderful Christmas. We skyped family and then had our own celebration. It was the first time I have cooked a full Christmas meal. Usually we are getting together with extended family and everyone pitches in but it was really nice to just be us. It was relaxed and casual and just what we needed at the moment. We splashed out and roasted 3 chickens. I managed to get the all in our microwave sized convection oven and they came our delicious. It was great to have the smell of a roasting chicken fill the house. It's not a smell we have much around this place anymore. I even managed to find strawberries so we had ice cream and strawberries and papaya  for pudding.
We had a couple of guys we had met at the beginning of the week pop in so they shared pudding with us. They are from Yemen, Muslim fellows, it was great to share Christmas with them. They even arrived back in the evening with gifts for all the kids.

My highlight  though was that in the evening we bought packets of veg fried rice and we roamed the streets and shared a merry Christmas with the street dwellers. I'm not sure who was happier. The joy we got from giving was huge and the joy they showed was just as heart warming. Great screams of delight came from them as they woke up those who were sleeping in excitement and exclaiming  "Food, food, happy Christmas food." We also threw in some treats of chips, lollies and biscuits. To see such joy and appreciation was something immeasurable to us.

I also managed to top off the evening as we walked home that night by falling down a hole. I am still sporting the bruises to prove it. Felt more of a twit that anything, one minute I am walking upright and the next second I am face to face with the pavement trying to be a brave girl. Ouch though.... it really hurt.

So now we are having to be patient. There is nothing we can do to hurry along the things that need to happen. It is all totally out of our control. Sometimes this is a bit overwhelming but at the same time it is exciting to once again be waiting to see what God has up his sleeve.

Girls home visit

Tomorrow we are off to the girls home (orphanage) and school that we are interested in getting involved with. I am so excited about this and even though we are going two days before Christmas and I have not yet finished shopping, this by far out weighs anything I want to do.

It is about a 3 hour car drive each way so that should be fun in itself. There are two cars going so hopefully it means there will be a bit more room from the usual nine of us in a 5 seater car :)

I beleive in angels

D.C was about to go for a walk to clear his head and ponder, think, pray, just to get a bit of space to think about what lies ahead of us and I was about to go and get some meat for our evening meal.
As we stepped outside D1 (daughter 1) and her friend A.C arrived back in an auto. We went down to help out with the payment and as I approached I saw a bus taking the corner very fast a wide and before I knew it I was calling "watch out". The bus hit the rear end of the parked auto and then dragged the auto with him while also hitting the auto into another parked vehicle. The other vehicle happened to be one that we had just picked up from a friend to go on a day trip tomorrow. Isn't that the way. Your own car never gets a scratch but as soon as you borrow one..... The amazing thing is that no one was hurt. The auto driver had a slight sore leg but it could have been way worse. If the girls had remained in the auto for a few seconds longer then it might have been a different story. If the bus had hit on another angle it may have sent the auto flying into all of us on the kerb not to mention all the pedestrians that are usually walking on the road. Thank God for this outcome.

Flip flop

Things are going crazy and out of our control, in a good way.
As I said in my past post of all but a few hours ago.... there seemed to be no flights anywhere in the world to get us back to NZ unless we went via train to Singapore but what do you know.... I sat down with the computer tonight (and this is after a lot of praying or should I say declaring, pleading, crying, anger, peace.) You name it, I did it. But as I was saying, lo and behold, on Jetstar there appeared a tunnel of light. Not only did they have some flights now available to Melbourne but we also saved ourselves NZ$5600 and managed to get good flights from Melbourne onto Auckland. Just so "happened" that some specials came on as I was on the net. Sometimes being on the other side of the world has it's advantages. I also saw the the seats booked and taken as quickly as they came out. Just as well we couldn't book the other flights earlier. e can now take them off hold tomorrow.
Thanks to all our family and friends that prayed. Once again we have seen God do amazing things. I am sighing yet another sigh of relief.

Life is one big adventure

The up shot of where we are at now is that we have flights booked out of India to Malaysia on the 31st Jan.
We found a great flight deal for this one but the issue now is that now we are stuck in Malaysia. There is nothing from Malaysia to NZ. We have been searching online and have had two travel agents searching and the outcome seems to be that we will need to catch a 6hr train ride into Singapore to catch a flight on the evening of 1st Feb. We have some flights on hold from Singapore. We couldn't get from Bangalore to Singapore so this is seeming the best option available to us. We have no choice but to leave India so what do you do? There is never a dull moment in the Czepanski family.

So how am I feeling? I could lie and say that I feel great but the reality is that I don't mind heading back to New Zealand to sort things out but the stress of the finances involved is weighing on me, the packing up of a house again and then having to find a new one and then find another 10months advance payment. David reminded me of my blog about stress and I must admit that it helped to have that reminder, to remember that is totally our of our control. We have seen God come through with $20,000 last month so why can't he do it again. Hey why not $30,000, that would be fantastic.

David is still in negotiation about this job contract but we realised we could not wait for that to happen as things here in India take time. It will still be an amazing work of God if this comes about.

I feel quite emotional and although my overall feeling is that God has it all sorted I still feel sad. I feel sad about saying goodbye to where we live. Not our house but our neighbourhood. I went today to our local store that my lovely Muslim friends own and my eyes were welling up as I told them we would be heading back to NZ for a few weeks and may not be living in our neighbourhood anymore. This beautiful  old man looked at me with such compassion in his eyes and he held his hands over his heart. I was  looking at him with his long gray beard and cap on his head and I felt that love for him again. That love that God puts inside of you for someone. He said to me that He has worked for many years and had many people come and go but that no one has entered his heart like our family. I say this not to make us sound good but to show that there are really special people here that give us that drive to stay here and they put that passion of India into us, they energise us to carry on. My heart bleeds to say goodbye to them. But we will be back and I need to keep reminding myself of that. We have return tickets booked in faith, faith that our visas will be sorted and faith that we will be able to pay for our tickets and any other obstacles that come our way. It's not easy but I need to find my strength in God and let him carry us through this.  It has to work out because there are too many people we need to come back here for and God's plans and purposes for us here are not yet complete.

Visa stuff

Weeks of getting forms and papers signed and then 5 hours of waiting at the FRRO office ended up with the conclusion of........ back to NZ you go. We do not meet the new employment rules that come into being about 3 months ago. The rule states that we must be earning US $25,000 each. Very hard for a start up company to be earning that amount in it's first year but there you go, that's the rules.

The kids jumped with delight at the prospect of heading back to NZ for a while until we could sort out a new visa and both DC and I felt ok about it all. It's just like a bit of a reboot, a restart, a reformation before heading back here again. The biggie for us is finances. We would need to give up our house here so we could get the bond back to pay our airfares and then once back in NZ we would need to get some finances to get us back again. Pfff though, we have seen how God can do it.

So our mind have been think and evaluating. Tasks ahead.... packing up the house, tickets to book, sort out what to do with the business while we are gone.

We spent ages on skype talking to family and friends about our days events and had the mixed emotions of maybe seeing family in the next 6 weeks versus waving goodbye to India for an unknown time frame. We know we would be back but it would be different, new house, new neighbourhood. The kids have made good friends with other children close by so all those things would be disrupted.

Then.... suddenly.... a new light began to emerge, a new possibility, a potential contract that would give us the required US$ 25,000 for David. It would mean that only my visa would be affected and perhaps only I would need to head back to NZ to change my visa from an employment one to an entry visa. Or, I could try a trip to the Delhi home affairs and see if they will let me change my visa to an X visa from within India.

So with this new glimmer of light we will have to see things actioned fast. We don't have time on our hands to wait and see what happens. It will need to happen fast and suddenly.

So we put all these things into God's hands. We knew it was not in our hands anyway and maybe God is just showing us who's got things sorted. 

So here I leave this post as a kind of.. to be continued episode. I am eager and looking forward to seeing what happens myself.

School for slum kids

It's funny how some days everything feels totally overwhelming and then by morning you wonder why. It is only a few days on since my last post and I feel totally different to how I felt them. Maybe that's just part of being woman :) But school has finished so that's one thing off my to do list.

Yesterday we went to see a school for underprivileged kids. What an amazing job they are doing and to see how God has bought finance and made such a lovely environment for these kids to have opportunities to learn and change their lives. There are 700 students of varying ages with clean neat uniforms and smiling happy faces. The girls with their hair braided and tucked under to form loops, the boys playing in the dusty yard.

These kids are picked up everyday from surrounding slums and bought to the school where they are fed breakfast and lunch, given free education of a very good standard, provided uniforms and a chance to become what they dream of. There are already 24 children that have graduated and moved onto college (university).

The Ministry of labour has seen what a great job they are doing and are now partnering with the school to help eradicate child labour.

Thumbs up to the founders of this school and to their big hearts and to all the teachers and volunteers and donors that have made this dream come true and to make a difference in the lives of these children.

Lots to do

My Dad pointed out to me that it had been a while since I made a blog entry and to be honest I had not even realised. The last couple of weeks have been busy and my mind has been filled with Visa extensions and getting all the paper work together. It's been filled with business stuff here in India and also getting paper work sorted. It's been filled with getting the last of the kids school work scanned and sent to teachers before the cut off date and it's been filled with getting ready for Christmas. I have not started any Christmas shopping for the kids yet, I am finding it hard to get into the mood with all the other things going on. It seems that as soon as we get one thing sorted we are then trying to find out how to do the next thing. It's just the way things are here and everything takes time and patience. My patience has been tested the last few days and I have to confess that I did not always react well :) and those closest to me copped it. I had hoped to have all our visa extension papers in before Christmas so that I could then not have it on my mind but I don't think that is going to happen now. We'll see. I feel really tired now and want to curl up and sleep for a week. I want to be the nice Mum and the nice wife again. The one who has time for everyone and can sit and read to the kids and make yummy dinners that don't need to be rushed and can be cooked out of love and not necessity. I want to be able to just sit and enjoy a movie without feeling guilty and thinking I should be doing some work. I want to sleep in on a Saturday morning and not feel like I have to get up and get going as soon as I am awake.

The funny thing is that I do not feel stressed about the outcome of our visa extension application but I am still bothered about getting everything ready for it. I find it frustrating to not be able to understand the forms we have to fill in. They are in English but I can't understand it because it is such proper English, lawyer talk.

And then I walk out into the street and a sniff the air again, I sit with DC eating kulfi on the side of the road and I watch the people pass us and I am reminded of why we are doing this. Why the difficulty is worth it. I go to buy rice and supplies from our local shop and I realise that I really love the shop owner, a Muslim man. I have a genuine love for him that warms my heart and I am thankful to him for reminding me why we are here. I hear the drums in the street and see the warm smiles of the Hindu's.
I do love this country and these people and maybe I keep needing to put that into perspective when I am driven crazy with filling out a million forms. A million forms and frustration of endless paperwork might just be what it takes to see these people in eternity.

1st December tradition

Dust in our eyes and the smell of fumes in the rush hour traffic but that didn't stop DC and I seeing if we could source a Christmas tree. Off to the market on the scooter we went to find a tree so that we could do our usual family tradition of setting it up on the 1st Dec. We didn't tell the kids we were doing it so we could surprise them.

 I was not sure if we would even be able to get a Christmas tree here seeing it is a predominantly Hindu country but not more than two shops into the market there it was. It stood upright and sparse and artificial and more like the ones we had when I was a kid although maybe a little better. It was perfect. They asked if I wanted it boxed which I thought would be a good idea since we were on the scooter. Would have looked funny with a 5.5m tree blowing in the wind as we made our way home. I should have known but by boxed it does not mean that there is a special box that it comes in. It means that we will pack it for you somehow with a box that almost fits but not quite but then bound together by rope that does not quite reach so small pieces are added on to just make it all bundle up. I love how this country works. The fun part is undoing it again.

As expected there were great squeals of delight from the kids as we rode in the driveway. They tore the tree out of our hands and wanted to put it up immediately. However, it was only the 30th Nov. They would have to wait until morning. What a mean Mum but it was worth the wait. 

The next morning we put some Christmas music on and I stood back with contentment to see the fun the kids had. They had thought there would be no tree this year and it felt good to bring a touch of Christmas and something of our family tradition with us to India but most of all it was good to see the joy and fun the kids had. S3 (Son 3) was vomiting so we set up a place for him to lie and be a part of the excitement.

As I write the lights are twinkling on the tree and I feel happy. There is something familiar in that tree and it makes me feel great.

Is this odd?

So I have a funny little thing I do, well not just one but I am only going to talk about one right now.

You know when you eat out and they give you those little sachets of tomato sauce or little packets of sugar with your coffee, well, If I don't use them I put them in my bag and take them home. DC thinks this is a funny thing to do. I only do it if they are put on my plate, I don't take them from the shelves they sometimes have them on. He laughs every time I do it

They come in handy, especially when we run out of sauce. The other night this happened and I was able to put one next to every ones plate at dinner time. (I didn't see DC laughing then as he squirted his special little pack on his dinner.) They give so much of the stuff over here that we could possibly keep a good stock in the cupboard if we ate out more.

So there we have it. Just one more little quirk I have and I'm not ashamed of it. I am sure there are many other undercover sauce collectors.

Cheeky monkeys

Cries from upstairs and screams of fear echoed through the house. What on earth was going on?

Monkey alert, monkey alert, monkeys in the house. The cheeky little things, two of them, had come into the house and helped themselves to our food in the kitchen. Half eaten potatoes and custard apple were left strewn on the floor and up the hallway. Pepper corns were scattered and the fridge left open. Eggs were taken from the fridge and also our treasured papaya. Further up the stairs I find a container from our pantry and more food scraps.

Some of the kids had locked themselves in a bedroom while D1(daughter 1) was on the roof top facing her own monkey ordeal. They had blocked the entrance to the stairwell and moved towards her. She hid herself under a blanket not knowing what to do. They came near her and growled and sniffed and poked her. Finally she screamed and they ran away.

So all in all it was quite an eventful afternoon. I still love monkeys but from a distance. They can become very aggressive if cornered. I would not want to come face to face with one in our kitchen.

The Vat, the VAT, THE VAT!!

We have our VAT (value added tax) now so we are able to freely trade. Thank you God. The other thing is that there was no ¨unofficial payments asked for¨

Today David will be going into our new office that our friends kindly decked out while DC was away in Delhi. He arrived back to see the once garage that we were renting, turned into a vinyl floor, glass front doors, desks, cabinets, lights, internet. Too very good are our friends. What a surprise.

Today also marks the first delivery of sale. Our first order. We have also hired our first employee who will do a lot of the ground and sales work. It feels like itś time for things to get rolling.

Peace settles in the mind

I have this over whelming love for India at the moment. I step out my doors and I breath in the aromas and smells of Indian bakeries, spices cooking, smoke, exhaust fumes and it's almost like trying to sniff a rose and you just can't quite get enough of it. India has stolen my heart and the Indian people have captured it and I don't think I am going to get it back... not that I want to :) As I rode to our friends house last night with DC in an auto, both of us wrapped in Indian shawls, and I couldn't help but grin. I am so happy, so content and so peaceful right now .

After a post a week or so ago about things happening back in NZ with Church. I now can say that after talking to people and weighing things up, it sounds like the name of Jesus was lifted high, God was glorified, Faith increased and people more in love with God. That has got to be good. I really feel at peace.

Fly away but come back soon

DC (hubby) is away in Delhi at the moment and how different it is this time with him going away than last time. Before, I was a little sparrow learning to fly in this new world I had been birthed into. I was timid and afraid to stretch my wings. This time I feel more like a wise old owl that has a been around a bit. Maybe not a mature owl but a teenage owl. One that is still learning but does not feel afraid to be alone and fly a little. One that does not mind making a few mistakes for the sake of learning.

I sent some of my little owlets off free today and although they have not yet returned I know that they too are spreading their wings and flying. Each flight brings more confidence and courage and I have to let my nest feel a little empty for a few hours and know that they are watched over by one that can watch over them far better than I can.

And although I feel at ease here alone, I will welcome back the Daddy owl and the owlets and with open arms and it will feel good when we are together again.

"I just don't know"

It's a strange thing to be so many miles away but still entangled in the lives and day to day going on of friends and family back in NZ.

I am bombarded face first with conflicting news of the Glory of God being poured out vs others who think that things are not well in the church and that it has lost it's way. This is not gossip/sin stuff I am referring to but to how God is manifesting in the church. All I can say is that I don't know what to think. My inner most being sometimes cringes at some things I am told and I want to cry out "be careful" and I am not completely sure if it is a warning in my spirit or an immaturity in me that does not yet understand how God is moving. Part of me feels cynical and the other part wants to stay open to what God may be doing.
Part of me cries "don't be led astray" and another part of me sees people loving God more deeply than before and that must be a good thing. Part of me says "You guys just sound weird" and then another part says "stop judging"

Not being there means that my judgments are based on others reactions and there are people on both sides of the river whom I trust and respect.

At the moment I have resolved to say:
"I just don't know"

Unofficial payments, yeah right.

We have been waiting on getting our VAT for our company before we can start trading but have been held up due to various obstacles, one of the them being an unofficial payment of Rs 15,000 (NZ $500). When we read the schedule of payments and saw what was written as an unofficial payment that we would not get a receipt for I think we quite justifiable felt alarm bells ring. DC (hubby) e-mailed our accountant and said it sounds very much like a bribe, he then rang us back and said that is exactly what it is. From a government department we receive our first official bribe request. Our policy is to NOT pay bribes and our accountant is telling us that we will not get the VAT unless we pay the bribe. After talking to some veterans to India, they said to say that you will be happy to pay what is due to them as long as they give a receipt :) I like that.

In the end we have re submitted our forms via our friends accountant and all is looking good so far. No one has asked for any bribes.

A tribute to my kids

I know I am not the only one that had fabulous kids but I have to say that our kids have been an absolute incredible bunch lately.
In the last 9months they have moved house 5 times, leaving the home they grew up in and the home that two of them were born in. They have had to say goodbye to all their friends, grandparents, cousins, Aunties and Uncles, pets and home comforts. We have had very few tears shed at having to say goodbye to Aotearoa and they have embraced a new culture, a new land, a new people, a new mindset as if they have always been here. The mod cons of skype and the Internet have helped hugely but even still I just want to say thanks Kids. It has been a tremendous upheaval but you have all pulled your weight. You older kids have helped with the younger ones, helped around the house and made this transition as easy on us as you possibly could. Even doing all this with a 18 mth old baby when we first shifted has gone remarkable smoothly.

Princess 1- I love how your dreams are so big that I can't contain them. I love your creativity and boundless energy and you don't care what others think about you. I love the way you use use words and I am sure that one day we will be reading your book. I love how you need us to know everything about you, every scratch, hurt, idea, joke, new found skill. It makes you, you.

Princess 2- I love your gentleness and the way you surprise us with your talent. You quietly keep your skills hidden until we stumble upon them. I love how your jokes are always funny and when we are alone with you, you don't stop talking. I love your creativity and silly faces you pull. I love how you are the second mummy and the little ones run to you. You are so caring. It's what makes you, you.

Princess 3- I love your sparkle and cheeky smile and the way your dimple draws people to you. I love how you make friends so easily and make people feel special. I love how you give away everything even if it leaves you with nothing. I love how you tilt you head and squint when you are thinking and how you look out the corner of your eye to see if we are watching when you are doing something clever. I love how you walk on your tip toes to make you feel taller. It's what makes you, you.

Prince 4- I love how your brain works, mathematical and clever. I love how you strive to do things the right way and stand back and watch until you are sure of how to do something. I love how you tackle your brother and play rough. I love how you like a goodnight kiss and follow me around all day just for the sake of it. I love how you like to cook with me in the kitchen. I love how you always have questions about everything. It's what makes you. you.

Prince 5- I love how you love people and make people feel loved. I love the quaint things you say that make us laugh. I love how you have so many words in your head that you can't get them out fast enough. I love how you cuddle and kiss. I love how you jump around and play like a puppy dog.
I love how much feeling you have inside you. it's what makes you,you.

Prince 6- I love how you never have pants on and just don't care. I love how you enjoy the stars and moon, lights and decor. I love how you like to put things in order and away in it's place but also how you pull things out of place when you want to prove a point. I love how you are talking with a slight Indian accent and that it is normal for you. I love how everything is so interesting for you. It's what makes you,you.

To whom it May Concern?

I have come to discover that pressure is not in fact real. It is a response we learn when we no longer rely, trust and have faith in God. We spend so much time worrying and sweating over things that we simply cannot control or over what we perceive to be way above what we can achieve. Too many sleepless nights tossing and turning over things we cannot change. What a big waste of time and something I have done far too much of over the past few months.

What a relief to finally understand that the pressure I have felt has really come from what I have invented in my head. Big deep breathe…..release slowly through the nose…. Ahhh.

We were encouraged to write down things that worry us and then cross off the things we have no control over. It’s amazing how small the list becomes. The things we worry about are things that we simply cannot change and these are the things that we should leave in God’s hands. I could quote a few scriptures here but I am sure they are known. In essence, I feel free. Free to just be me and to carry on doing what we are doing and to consult with God and see how he sorts things out. It’s such a great feeling.

• Visa extension
• Finances
• residence permit extension
• Business fully operational
• Will we be sent back to NZ?
• How will we pay for tickets?
• Sort paperwork for applications for Visa, business, residence. ( guess this is all we need to do right now)

This is not a Kay Sara mentality but it is putting our faith in the one who can do all things and even more than we can imagine. I will address my letters to God as "To whom it does concern."

Talking of Birth

Yesterday was the 9 month anniversary of our arrival in India. So.... the pregnancy is over and it's time to give birth.

I should nap

Right now I should have my head on my pillow and be trying to take a wee nap before we go out tonight but I am bubbling up with excitement of what could be opening up before us. If I lay down my head, it will be jumping with all sorts of thoughts so why not write instead.

We met With Mr and Mrs G again yesterday and also met their Son who is our age and their children. It was lovely for the kids to play together and met new friends. It's a shame that their son lives in another part of India.

So what I am excited about is that they are looking for someone to hand over the running of the girls home.
Ooo, Ooo, Ooo, pick me, pick me my heart is screaming out.
Here we are with a passion for something like this and they are trying to find someone to do the job. So the praying begins..... let's see if this is what God wants us to do. We have not talked anything concrete yet but plan to go and have a look at the place and meet the girls etc. We have no idea what this would entail, in fact we have no idea about anything yet but what I do know is that a bounce has returned in my step, an anticipation and excitement. They have only dropped hints about us being an answer to prayer so have not officially asked us to take over anything so everything is still just in baby stages. Is this something that is about to be birthed into our lives?

How crazy was I?

I Lay in bed this morning chatting to my beloved and was reflecting on our first arrival In India. I was recalling when we first arrive at our new apartment. It had been exciting to be picked up from the airport by friends and driven to a home that we thought we would be in for 3 months (that didn't work out but never mind)

I remember standing on the side of the road in the darkness of the night. The ground was a little wet and muddy, not from rain but from a leaking pipe. The street was quiet apart from a few stray dogs roaming around. We were waiting for the other car to arrive with our bags, some kids and the key to get in. I was so excited to be here after waiting for so many years.

Then came the first walk up the stairs, the missing windows that would not meet OSH regulations in NZ. The marble steps that were caked in dust and then our front door. We walked in and I remember thinking, I can't wait to give this place a good scrub. It had already been cleaned but there is nothing like cleaning yourself.

The table had some goodies on it for us all and we plonked down our bags and made our first cup of tea in India. The funny thing was that as I began to open kitchen cupboards and pull things out, I wanted to wash everything. I suddenly felt like everything was covered in Indian bugs that were somehow going to jump from everywhere and make us all sick. Even when washing the cups I didn't feel like they were clean because of the water I had just washed them in. I felt like everything was contaminated. This is why I titled this post 'How crazy was I?' It was as if anything I touched was covered in germs and I needed to wash my hands all the time. It was complete and utter stupidity looking back now. It was a wrong perception of India. This is how the west thinks of India and I was living it out I am embarrassed to say.

So we lay in bed and laughed at ourselves, well at me actually, and reminisced about changed mindsets. How crazy was I?

Contacts

Don't you love it when you meet people you just click with?

The other day we were put in contact with a couple (I shall call them Mr and Mrs G) that have been in India for 46years, that's right 46. Oh, and they aren't Indian. These guys are legends. Here's what I like about them.

• They are in their late 60s (I think, they have kids our age so I am  guessing)
• They are so humble
• They have wisdom
• They are encouraging
• They are down to earth
• Easy to chat with

Not once did these guys make us feel inferior to them just because they had been here for years. They were genuinely interested in what we were doing and wanted to do anything they could to give us advice on Visa extensions etc. The wisdom they had with these matters was amazing.

The other thing that was exciting was that they run a girls home/orphanage about 2 hours away from here. It also has a school attached to it. There are about 62 girls in total. This gets something in my heart jumping with excitement. I know that we are going to be involved with something like this because it is such a passion within me. We hope to take a visit sometime and see if anything happens from there. Interestingly, Mrs G's comment about us was that maybe we were an answer to pray but just left it at that, nothing more, just left us hanging there :) I will wait with eager anticipation to see what this contact brings. I feel revitalised and encouraged, nothing seems impossible anymore. This seems funny to say when we are facing our visa extension soon and the odds look like we will be sent back but  the thing is that we have seen the impossible happen, so why not again?

Gone nuts

Here's a little secret...shhhh... I am a bit fixated on coconuts. I love putting the oil in my hair and using it as a body moisturiser. I love to drink the tender coconut water followed by the creamy, soft, slippery flesh. I have gone completely nutty. It is soooo good for you and is what I would describe as the perfect food for the body. I hold a coconut and see it as a pure body perfect pill. Mmmm... must...go....get...one.

Here's some trivia for you though. I went to oil my hair this morning only to find that my usually runny oil had solidified. From this I can conclude that the days are indeed getting colder. After investigating this I can now tell that a day is bellow 22º just by looking at my oil. My life has been enlightened.

Provision

Right, so now I can speak a bit more freely about what had been a financial concern to us. The reason I can speak about it now is because God has provided.

Here's a bit of back ground info:

When we first moved to India we had ended up needing to pay more than we thought we would need to, in fact, it was way more than anticipated. We had to pay 10 months in advance on our rent as a bond plus pay monthly on top of that. This means about NZ$20,000 this year just for rent. So.... we had also opened a bank account here in India and it had a minimum amount that needed to be in it, this was NZ$16,000. We ended up borrowing this from our business in New Zealand (all legit) with the thought that we would then be able to transfer it back quite quickly. As it turned out, we needed it for the rent. This lead to us being $20,000 short in our business account and we needed to pay our sub contractors their terms salary. These sub contractors also happen to be friends. I would be lying if I didn't say that we were pretty stressed out about this. How were we going to find $20,000 when we are not earning anything. We prayed and we fasted and we even tried to apply for an overdraft on our account but because our business financial statements were being done late this year the bank would not do this until the report was in. We were kind of doing the pray but see the doctor too thing.

During this time we went through huge emotions of stress, lack of faith, worry of letting down friends or simply going into debt so we could at least pay our guys (not something we wanted to do) but... during this time we came to be able to rest in God and be able to say "it's got to be you God" we can't do anything and before our very eyes God did it. Money started being returned to us from various sources. Tax rebates, donation rebates, a client that I had forgotten to invoice (oops) It was amazing, something that seemed so huge to us just melted into being.

It was an amazing feeling to pay the last of our guys the other day and we sat back with dopey grins and said, "how did this happen? This is just amazing provision" Every time I think about it I am filled with over whelming gratefulness. It seemed impossible but there it is. Man, our God is amazing and yet he did just what he said he would, " God will provide all my needs according to his to his riches and Glory." No income= $20,000, go figure.

What I learn, learned and am learning.

After my last post that almost sounded a bit like chaos in my head, I am grateful that I had to ask myself those questions. In doing it I realised how much I want to be here. Not that I am enduring being here, not that I feel I have to, not that I feel I need to be a martyr. I actually love India and Indian people and this is where I want to be. Yes, I miss family and friends but this is where my heart has settled for now. I am where my desire is.

There are a few things coming up soon that are critical points for us. The main one is our visa extension. This is not a small task here and the truth is that we do not meet the requirements at present. We need to show what we have been earning a certain amount and that we have been paying our taxes. As of now, we have not earned anything so we have not paid taxes. At face value it does not look good but we are keeping praying that God will sort this for us.

So there are two things that may happen in a couple of months:

a) We get our extension and have a party

b) We get sent home and need to re evaluate what to do from there. ( I don't really want to think about that option) Maybe I shouldn't even let it be an option.

That's where we are at.

As it is....

So I'm feeling a little frazzled today, feeling that what we have done is being questioned and doubted by others. Is our call to India legit? Did we come at the right time? Because it's been pretty tough at times, does this mean we are not supposed to be here? Because there has been times of sadness, does this mean we have missed the boat? Blah blah blah. It really made me have a good look at how we got here and if indeed we are supposed to be here and many other thoughts and emotions whirring through my mind.

So where to begin? Pull the thoughts down from a swirling mass above my head and try to make some sense out of it all.

Flip, why does this bother me so much? Why does it bother me that these things are being questioned.

I have no doubt that we have been called to India. This in no way makes us superior to anyone, it just means that God decided we could do something here rather than in NZ. It has been 15 years in the coming and this is something that we have been anticipating for sooooo long. So that one is a no brainer for me. Even if we got no extra prophetic words about coming we would still have been here sooner or later.

So, have we come at the right time? It wasn't like we tried to make it happen quickly, it all just fell into place so easily. House sold quickly, visas came astonishingly quickly and with an employment visa for both of us.

Finances were all good, we had the blessing of our church leaders and most of all.... it felt right and it still feels right. So really the question is... do I hear God properly, did we interpret everything falling into place properly. This leads me to my other thoughts...

Since we got here we have come up against all sorts of battles. Sickness, financial strain, emotional and relationship issues at times and really re assessing faith and what that means. Yes, it has been really hard at times but never once have I considered going back to NZ. It just does not enter my mind. The trials and tests have been extremely hard but what we have learned from them is huge and has strengthened us like nothing else could have. No sermon could have brought us to where we are now and we are still continuing to learn.

So all in all I have Joy in the trials but they have been really hard. So that raises the next question. Because it has been hard, does that mean we should not be here. That seems the craziest question ever. I know we should have joy and peace in our lives but I do not see that we get a life of green lights, I still believe there is a place for sacrificing our comforts and giving a bit of ourselves. Man, Paul was whipped and in prison, Jesus was crucified and I am sure that was not a fun filled time but they still found joy in it all. The thing we have been learning is how to find that joy when things are tough but it does not mean that there wont be difficulty in our lives.

I love love love being here in India. It is where my heart is, it is where our hearts are. We have come to the place we love, to the people we love and I am happy to be shaped and molded, to give a little so we can see God's kingdom come. I am here until God says otherwise.

So now that I have put my thoughts into a bit more of a rational thought pattern I feel better. I can answer that we are here because God brought us here at this precise time and is equipping us to do what we need to do and that is to just be us in the way that God wants us to be. It's OK that there have been obstacles because they have been turned to good. I am a stronger person than when I left NZ.

Anticipation

There is great excitement in our household. Tomorrow Ariana arrives to stay 3 months with us. It will be nice to have a Coop staying with us, they are such good family friends and we love them to bits.

Ariana is going to be right into an assault of the senses. The day after she arrives we are invited out to some friends for a swim and lunch. These are the friends we first made in Bangalore, our local meat seller (butcher, but he does not like that term). They live in a gated community with a pool. It's a little bit of luxury for us to visit them and it feels like utter bliss to submerge ones self into water when you have become accustomed to bucket baths. They then want to take us out to eat at a restaurant. Mmmm, Yummy.

Later on that evening, we have been invited to a baby naming ceremony. Apparently there will be about 500 people present. We do not even know the parents or the child but the grandfather is the local ironing wallah in our area and we let him store his wagon/trolley at our place each night so he does not need to wheel it all the way home each night.
We feel really honoured (ranked), haha, inside joke)to have been asked along. They are a Hindu family and we have no idea what happens at these ceremonies but I guess we will soon find out. Might be time for me to buy a sari and get out the toe rings. This is exactly the sort of reason we have been wanting to meet people in our community and to form relationships. We want to mingle and be a part of peoples lives... Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Baha'i. How can we be a light unless we are out among it?

My wee boy

>

A scream that makes any parent know that something serious has happened followed by a sibling screaming for help, you know you had better get into action and not just ignore it as a child over acting to get a sympathy vote from Mum and Dad.

This is exactly what we heard a few days ago. Our boy (L) was climbing in our pantry (not supposed to be) and fell from about 2 meters onto his head. He was in severe pain but I was glad he was conscious. I carried him to a bed, in hind site this is what I should not have done incase his neck was broken, but I was able to assess that his skull looked pretty fractured. I called my husband who was skyping his sister at the time and he too felt the groove that our fingers went into where the skull felt fractured. Off to the hospital we went.

This was a very different hospital trip than any other I have done. We climbed onto our scooter, I held (L) to my stomach and we ventured to find the nearest A&E. There was one not far away and by this time (L) was feeling like vomiting and was starting to become drowsy. We lay him on the table where they injected him with something to stop him vomiting, boy did he yell and let the entire Bangalore know he was not impressed with this. The funny thing is that (DH) had to take a prescription to the chemist to buy the injection before they gave it. India is a pay as you go kind of health system.

(L) could not remember what had happened to him and would open his eyes and ask me what happened. I told him about the fall and he promptly told me off for not catching him. Cute.

They did a quick assessment and told us he will need to go for a CT scan. This meant climbing on the scooter again and trying to find the diagnostic scan hospital called Santosh hospital with the directions they gave. It's hard to follow directions when you are trying to get your son seen to as soon as poss. Part way into our trip (L) started vomiting over my shoulder. People were looking on in a concerned manner as our bike and myself where sharing the vomit and poor levi was looking more and more pale and more and more drowsy.

We asked for directions and finally found the hospital after a few U turns only to find that the actual hospital and the scan unit were at different places. Off we went again and finally found where we were meant to be. As per usual, nothing could be done until we had paid for the scan.

We were then waiting in the waiting room when I noticed blood coming from (L's) nose, as a nurse I know that this is not a good sign but I was actually feeling very calm. We had sent out some texts to friends around the world and we knew people were praying... and us of course.

David decided to make a bit more of a push for some urgent attention, He said something like, "this is an emergency, he needs to be seen straight away," it worked very well.

They took us straight in and did the scan quite quickly once they saw the blood.

I knew it was a give in that his skull was cracked but was more concerned about what was happening internally. He was now quite hard to rouse.

While we waited we received texts and calls from friends who were praying and then the news came that there was no fracture and no brain injury. The CT scan was perfectly clear. Praise God because we had felt and seen his skull. This could only be a work of God.

A friend of ours arrived to see us at the hospital and that really spoke volumes of love to me. She also came with us back to another hospital and then later on came with her family with dinner to have with us at home.

Right, back to the story.... (L) lay on the hospital bed in A&E looking very peaceful. He was no longer complaining of pain and his pupils were responding well. They advised us that he should stay in for observation but after we found out the fee we realised it was not possible (we have no med insurance) We decided that since I was a nurse we would take him home and set our alarm throughout the night and keep an eye on him. Plus we had God doing his thing as well.

So off we set on the scooter again, stopping once for him to vomit and arrived home to a surprise packet of treats that the girls had put together for (L). My kids are just so fantastic, they cared for our 2 year old and can make meals and put him to have naps. They just amaze me at times and I probably do not give them as much praise as they deserve at times.

So a long story shortened, (L) has recovered really well. He asked me on the night we got home if I saw the yellow glowing light and that he had seen a fairy. I think he may have seen an angel that was there protecting him or doing what ever he had been assigned to do. It is honestly a miracle that (L) is up and about now and we are having to try stop him from climbing. Will he ever learn?

The warning was accurate.

Mind blasting... not to mention ear blasting is how I would describe last nights events.

The festival that we had been told would start at 1am and end at 11am really got started earlier than that but the floats didn't start coming until later. It also didn't end until 1:30 pm. So we have had at least 12hrs of festive colour and drums booming through the night right outside our door.

Even our windows were rattling and the vibrations of the bass subs pulsed through our bodies.

It was quite an experience and fun to walk around last night and pray as we went. It is a great feeling to know that you are bringing God's kingdom where ever you go.

Enough talk... here's some photos:

The high up shots are taken from our roof top.

We have been warned

So we could be in for a sleepless night tonight. To be honest, I am a little excited about it. I know it is a Hindu festival but what a great opportunity to mingle with people.

There is preparation of floats, flowers, stalls etc and the hustle and bustle of people all over the place. There are lights lining the streets and I am sure by night it will look quite spectacular. We are not 100 % sure of the reason for this festival. It's called the car festival but seems to be in honour of any machine. Not really sure what is going on though.

Our neighbour was telling the kids last night (as she yelled out her kitchen window last night at 10:30pm), that the festival will start tonight at 1am, yes that's right, 1 am on Sunday 24th Oct. It will go all through the night, a parade circling up past our house and around and around until 11am. Our neighbour suggested we join them on the roof if we can't sleep. That sounds like fun to me and like a great way to spend time with people and get to know them. I know from past experience that Indian festivals are not quiet, in fact, they are at top decibel and at a frequency that will pierce through any other noise. Kind of like how a babies cry does.

It will be interesting to see if the kids can sleep through it. Time will tell I guess.

Business update

It's been a hard long road in establishing our business and we knew that things would take longer here in India. We thought we were pretty much ready to roll and our first shipment of goods arrived about 3 days ago ready for us to begin distributing. It has been a change for us from going from IT support for network and admin to selling networking products.

So we stood looking at the stuff with a slight feeling of dread as we are not really sales people. Ben and (DH) had been working on getting this distributor thing up and running and now that the stuff has arrived Ben is back in NZ. He's the one who can speak the lingo and has most of the contact. What could we do but look at each other and laugh.

Being very green to all the business workings in India we then found that we need some special tax stuff for being a distributor for out of state stuff so we began the process of application for this. This then lead to finding out that we needed an inspection of our Office/warehouse, haha, this was our home. They were fine when they came that it was in our home because they knew it was a start up business but we then found that we need to get permission form our land lord to have an office here..... this then led to our land lord telling us that we have to re lease the property as a commercial property so we will have an increase in rent, power and water. This comes at a time when the pennies are almost non existent and we can only cry out, GOD!

So all in all, we have this shipment of goods that we have one month to sell and we are not allowed to sell them until this other stuff has been sorted out. I can't say I have kept cool, calm and with complete faith in God since all this happened. I have had to go through another process of coming to a place of rest in God again and trusting that He has it under control. Talk about testing times. Sometimes things just don't go as we plan them.

There are some underhanded was we have been offered to do this but we want to do it legit. We would rather have a delayed process than compromise our honesty.

Street Walking

India is a very social place, I love that. Even when you are in a car you are still interactive with others on the street. You pull up to some lights and someone will ask directions or smile.

We love to go for a walk in the evenings and get a coconut when we can. Invariably we always meet someone on the way that we have to respond to, it might be a simple, hi, where are you from or a beggar.

One night we passed a guy and we smiled and said hi. A few minutes later he was at our side asking if he could walk with us. We said sure and chatted and got to know each other. He is a Muslim fellow and was interested in knowing other cultures and we enjoyed getting to know him. We were a bit suspicious of his actions at first because we have other times when people befriend you because they want to take you to a store where they get commission from. We ended the walk and exchanged cel numbers. A couple of days later we got a call from him asking if he could come over. We ended up going for another walk with him and then he came back for tea (chai). We talked for 4 hours about our differing faiths. It was so interesting and such a privilege to be able to share our faith with him and to introduce him to the kingdom of God. It is just the beginning of a friendship and we don't know what step or changes he may make but the exciting thing was to have such an opportunity and we shall pray for him.

What's different?

Things have changed, that's for sure. Some things are small changes and some things are massive. Most of the changes I am more than thankful for because they have taught me value of life, things, people and most of all, the importance of God in my life.

These will not be in any particular order but will be as they come to mind, these are some of the changes in my life.

Church:

1. From a large church with building, meetings, lots of friends, worship team, corporate worship, microphones, instruments, to a home church that doesn't even have a guitar ( actually that's not quite true, we have an electric guitar but no amp), just our family and the Benjamin's so far, more intimacy with God and only God to lean on. Freedom in meetings and lots of meeting people outside of "church". Meeting people in the street, having strangers in our home and talking with people about what they believe and what we believe. Learning who we really are in Christ.... Sons with a powerful message of the kingdom.

In the kitchen:

1. From bulk monthly shopping once a month to everyday shopping at many little stores and markets.
2. From buying meat in clear plastic covered foam pots to choosing meat hanging that is covered in flies, bringing it home and washing every single bit before cooking it and still being able to enjoy it.
3. From buying fruits in bags to picking out produce on the side of the road cart and then washing everything thoroughly before putting it away.
4. From drinking water from the tap to buying bottled water, drinking filtered water or boiled water.
5. From easy access to fresh milk to powdered milk, UHF milk or having to boil the fresh milk first.
6. From the coffee percolator to boiling coffee grounds in a pot and draining through a cloth.
7. From cooking with electricity to cooking with gas. From a slow cooker to a pressure cooker.
8. From meat dominated meals to sparse meat or no meat at all. Lots and lots of Rice and Daal. Yummy.
9. From low spice to high spice tolerance.

Transport:

1. From 11 seater Family van to a scooter (we can get 5 on it :)
2. From piling into one vehicle to a scooter plus a 3 wheeler auto if we all want to go somewhere.
3. From lanes, road rules and order on the road to utter chaos that works in it's own special way.
4. From arrogant drivers that don't budge to drivers that work together in relative tolerance. Defensive driving is excellent here in India. I think Indian drivers must be the best in the world. talk about spacial awareness.
5. From airplanes or long distance caravan hauls to overnight sleeper trains

At home:

1. From daily showers to daily bucket baths
2. From high water pressure to pressure that depends on how full the tank is or how much water is in the sump.
3. From constant water supply to water coming every second day to fill the sump.
4. From constant electricity to power cuts a few times a day.
5. From vacuuming to sweeping and swabbing the floors.

General:

1. From thinking we were relying on God to really relying on God
2. From earning an income to having faith
3. From stability of a job to trusting God
4. From worrying about small things and finances to resting in God

What a huge privilege it has been to experience such change in our lives and I haven't even mentioned the cultural change yet. I shall continue this at another time. I am so grateful for what India is and is continuing to teach me.

What a laugh

I was having a reflective moment yesterday and looking over the last few months of my blog. Wow! so much has happened and there is so much to be thankful for.

As I read, two things I had written made me laugh.... hind sight is funny....

1) I quote myself,

I almost can't believe that I am now sitting here writing that all our paper work is done and approved.

This was written just before our departure from New Zealand. What we have since learned was that it was just the beginning of our paper work. Paper work is a must here in India along with every form of identification possible. I could not give anything more other than a blood test and urine sample. You have to laugh or it would drive you crazy.

2) Another quote after being in India about 3 weeks,

David has gone to Hubli for 4 nights so it is my first time without him in India. We are managing fine but sticking close to home at this stage. I am not quite ready to tackle the auto rickshaws with the kids on my own. Over time I guess my confidence will increase and I will look back on how I feel now and laugh.

The funny thing was that I was laughing when I read the first part and laughed even more when I read my anticipated laughing that I was already doing.

I will happily catch an auto now and happily negotiate a good price and I also do not shy away from bringing honesty to the attention of any auto driver trying to do a number on me. On the other hand, I also enjoy giving more than arranged to a driver that makes a good, hassle free journey and sticks to the price. I love the joyful look on their faces when you reward honesty.
I still love autos. They are the coolest form of transport.