The bubba at 21 weeks

I have had a few requests from friends to see a photo of my belly as they say they don't believe from other photos that there is a baby there. So you'll find one at the bottom of the page :) I may even do a weekly shot as more of a remembrance for me.

I am feeling good, baby is still moving well and I can eat like a horse. I love Indian food again which is a relief considering where I live. I crave veges and dairy products and meat. Come to think of it food in general is a craving. I do not have the usual junk food cravings, well, maybe occasionally. An ice cream is always good.

It's getting harder to kick my leg up and over the scooter when I get off but I can still manage and am sure I will for a few months yet. The car we can borrow from time to time is out of action for now so the scooter or walking is the method of transport for us. The kids enjoyed pointing out to me that I actually carried home 10kgs of goods from the shop today. 2kg flour + 2kg sugar etc etc... it adds up I guess but I enjoyed the walk anyway.

Indian clothing is brilliant for pregnancy. Adjustable waist ties, big loose tops and cool cotton all are great and no need to buy different or extra clothing.

I almost forgot to say that my order of nappies "flips" arrived today. They are cloth style inserts and will work well here as our rubbish has to be burned and the thought of burning disposables is just pure yucky. So I now have 18 inserts hanging on the line as they need to be pre washed five times for maximum absorbancy and little lemon and lime covers (non gender specific). It was cheaper to get these sent from the USA than order within India. It always pays to do your research. Thanks to those who made it possible for us to get these. At least now babies bottom will be covered... appreciated muchly. (yes I know that's not a real word)

I am enjoying pregnancy.

Love

When going through a bit of a rough patch, one of those overwhelmed moments, one of those times where it feels like the whole demonic force is out to get you, I cried out to God "What do we do?"
I was crying out for direction, provision, for peace and you know what I heard him say in response, "Love me." Wow, two simple words that did not answer any of my questions but that did bring the simple realities back into perspective.

So I got to thinking about love, about what it means to love and to be loved. It's pretty clear in the bible that this is one of the fundamentals of our faith and that without it everything else is meaningless. So I decided that it was time to focus on loving God. Time to stop the focus being on me/us and just get back to the basics of love. To stop trying to work everything out and just to love God.

So as happens, soon after this I hear an online sermon on love, get sent a blog from a good friend and all I could see in it was love. Love, love, love. Now this is not a startling new revelation for me but I think I had sort of lost it along the way. Not that I didn't love but it was not my focus.

Without love everything we do is futile.

Luke 10:27 "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

So there it is, plain and simple. Love God, love others and love yourself. One preacher said that we need to learn to love ourselves because we can't love others beyond what we love ourselves, interesting thought.

Gotta love it

My boys have been enjoying getting out the back of the house with one of the workers here who maintains the fields. He speaks no English. Today I overheard Son 2 teaching him English and Madu teaching Son 2 Kananda. So Madu is teaching Son 2 to count and in return Son 2 has taught Madu how to say ninkumpoop (I don't even know how you spell that one) He can now say it with a good kiwi accent and I am sure will add value to his life in some way that I can't see right now :)

Pondering

Yesterday was a pondering day as I marveled at the fact a cow was grazing outside our kitchen window.

As I sat on the porch young school kids were walking past our house waving and trying out their limited English and then rattling off some Kannada words followed by giggles as they covered their mouths. Who knows what they were saying, probably cheeky, but it made me smile.

I pondered on all the small things that made me smile here, the lizards, the squirrels, our kids playing in the trees and in the dirt. They all climb these massive trees called Bunion trees and they have large vines to swing on like Tarzan, talk about fun.

I thought back to when we first arrived, I was in my first trimester of pregnancy and feeling lousy. The 1500 meter walk to dinner at night felt like a marathon let alone getting everyone organised with plates to take. Once there the girls from the home were all over us with shouts and smiles and personal space invasion. I remember my head spinning and feeling dizzy and nauseated, the heat rushing to my head, my heart pounding and I kept telling myself, "this is what I came for" but my body was definitely not in agreement. I was exhausted and disappointed that my dream felt like such a huge effort. I actually struggled to see how I was going to bring any input or good to this place when all I wanted was for no one to disturb me and to just sleep.

 Last night though as I walked to dinner I enjoyed the walk in the cool night, the stars, the frogs that leap past and over your feet and thanked God for the second trimester. It is so good to feel more energy and be able to appreciate things again.

I began teaching English to the 4 and 5 year olds at the beginning of this week. We have 5 new girls here now and one of them is in my class. She did not even know how to say hello but after the first lesson she was able to answer the simple question "What is your name?" She is picking things up so fast, it's very encouraging.

As with all children, the  kids here need some basic training of the heart. There is punishment that happens but not teaching the heart why you should do the right thing. Lying, stealing, teasing are a few areas I see that we can have some input into. I want children to do the right thing because they want to honour God and not out of the fear of being caught and punished. The first step is some training for the staff here and we will be beginning that next week.

DC has been putting in some very hard long hours into cracking a computer idea that allows one computer to run four screen simultaneously and that each of those screens can be doing their own thing. This has been already set up here but is not working properly but it has sparked DC  into trying to better it and make it optimal. It has caused frustration and many times hitting a brick wall but he has persevered and it looks like he has cracked it. Now it just needs some fine tuning and then take the idea to some other schools, Internet cafes and that sort of thing. The great thing is that it saves money on hardware and power. Who does not want to save some Rupees if they can? Hats off to DC, he's kept plodding on through the obstacles. I am very proud of him.

So there's a few catch ups on what we have been up to, I do love it here even though every now and then the waves of overwhelment (not really a word I think) come and I wonder how I will cope with another baby arriving soon. Deep down though, I know that this is where we should be, this is where I want to be and I love these kids. Sure a new born will change things for a while but things will still function and normality will return again, (that's if you can call what we are doing normal :)

SEX DETERMINATION PROHIBITED

I ventured down yesterday with my 3 girls to get a routine scan done. We arrived at the scan clinic which looked more like a train station with people crammed into a small open room and sprawled out onto the street. I managed to squeeze my way through to the front desk and hand them my scan form. I then joined the multitudes outside and found a small concrete step to sit on. The girls went for a walk as the wait was going to be at least 45 mins.

All eyes were on me as I waited with everyone. I didn't realise that putting on some lip balm would become the focal point of interest for all around. I realised at this point that I am still very much a foreigner her in Kollegal. We and the two volunteers are the only westerners living here.

After about an hour I was called in and again pushed my way through the crowd. The girls were not allowed to come in but it didn't really matter because I didn't get to see the baby on the scan either. I did get to see the lady before me though as the next person is brought in while you are getting your scan done and every time the sliding door is opened the whole waiting crowd get to see your belly.

The very large printed signs reading SEX DETERMINATION PROHIBITED was fairly clear that I was not going to find out the sex of this baby but I don't mind, a surprise will be nice. I can understand why this is in a country where females are aborted at a high rate.

The sonographer asked how many children I had and was clearly not impressed with my answer when he relied "for what purpose" and then followed up with, "You will have an operation after this." with which I replied "No, I have a different philosophy on children" and left it at that.

The good news is that there is one very healthy baby in my belly and it is measuring 2 weeks bigger than the expected date. I know I have been feeling bigger than usual and had even wondered if I had twins on the way. Once I see my OB I will discuss with her if she sees any need to adjust arrival dates of this baby or just go with the fact it is a big baby so far. Everything else on the scan looked optimal for a good birth ahead. I was sent away with  3 tiny pics of baby, one of it's skull, one of it's belly and one of something that I do not know what it is. This is going to be the biggest surprise package we have had. Exciting really.

Baby update

Yesterday I popped into a new hospital here in Kollegal. I didn't even know it existed. I asked if they did obstetrics and was told no but when I showed my baby bump they suddenly knew what I was talking about and was shown where to go. I now have a lovely OB who speaks good English. She assured me that the hospital is equipped to handle any complications of pregnancy if they arise. The thing I am most happy about is that I want a home birth and she is happy to come to the house if baby comes quickly. My babies do come quick and I would like to remain at home but at least I know there is a hospital not far should the need arise. It's actually only about a 5min walk away. So all in all I am feeling really good about the baby side of things here.

I will have a scan next week which will be interesting. I feel quite huge for this stage of pregnancy and have wondered if there may be another baby hiding in there somewhere. Even the OB thinks I felt large for 19weeks. It could just be how the baby is positioned but will be interesting to see. Next week I will be half way there.

So I guess if we are going to be here in India for the birth, I need to start thinking about getting a few things together for the baby. We have been sent a cute little NZ top from my friend in NZ and that is the only clothing I have so far :) I also have a baby blanket that my friend made for Son 3. It's like starting all over again. I am thinking a portable cot will be the way to go in case we need to move in Feb. I just want the bare minimum of stuff, no need for all the extra palaver.

I am now really looking forward to the arrival of this wee little bubs, I love all the kicking and moving he/she is doing. I love you my baby.

Visitor from NZ

We have a had a wonderful last couple of weeks with a friend visiting from NZ. The car we are using gave us our usual adventures. It broke down after the airport pick up so we didn't get to our hotel until 2am and for DC it was 3am and then up again at 6am to try and get it sorted and going again. By 1pm we were on the road to Kollegal. It's become a push start job now but at least we are getting places.

It was nice to hear a kiwi accent and enjoy cups of tea with our friend. It is funny that over this time of decision making we had this nice distraction to take our minds off things for a bit. It also looks like she will return to Kollegal for a year next year. It's always nice to introduce someone to India and show them around a bit.

Daughter 2 got stung by a scorpion the other day. It was painful but no major problems from it. We took a trip to the hospital as we don't know much about these things and had been advised by staff here at the home to go. They also treated it with cut up onion. Apparently it draws out the venom. It was so nice to see the concern from all the girls here at the home. We had a house full of onlookers.

So where are we at with decisions?....... It's still not definite yet but we are now thinking we will stay on until February which is when our visas run out. That way we give the business side of things every opportunity to work and give God as much time as we possibly can. At that point in Feb we will have either made the $25,000USD and be able to extend our visas or be told to leave the country and we will then take things from there. We still have ups and downs of emotions. It would be nice to be fully sure of where we will be next year but right now we are uncertain and so just have to deal with that. One day at a time is how it is really.

I am currently writing a volunteers manual for the home along with a couple of other volunteers here. Just a booklet of how things work and the do's and dont's. We have all found we have had to feel our way into this place and work out how it all works so I think this will be helpful.