Broken biscuits

With great sadness and sorrow I write my last Blog from Kollegal. It's been a very sudden turn of events that could have easily been avoided given time but It is what it is and we are optimistic for what the future holds. I know we will be ok as a family but it doesn't lessen the the pain of departure.

Here's a quick low down on what happened, I will cut and paste from a message I sent to a friend and then just add a little to it:

"The basic thing is that the home will not bring us back as volunteers because they have to provide a guaranty of indemnity should anything arise such as a death, accident or us needing to be sent back to NZ for any reason. They feel that with so many members and no financial backing from our church or an organisation that they cannot sign this paper that the govt requires.

Unfortunately they did not take it to a board vote soon enough and assumed everyone would be OK with it but it has to be a unanimous vote and it wasn't. So the board members who voted for us are very upset at how things have happened.

We have appealed the decision but they have come back with no. They say it is nothing to do with our conduct or anything else... just the possible financial burden we could be as such a big family. We have paid our own way while we have been here and have given into the "home" in ways they will never know. We have never even used a toilet roll without paying for it.

Obviously we are really sad at saying goodbye but are now reconciled to the fact that God is shutting this door and we now pray for what he will open. We have applied to a couple of other places in India and will see what comes of it. It's hard to think about something else when we are so sad to say goodbye to all these daughters of ours.

It's just sad that things have happened as they have so suddenly and without consideration to our family. Basically we have had 5 days to up and leave and only a couple of boxes to use for packing. It has caused us to be in a very difficult situation and has caused a huge upset with staff, volunteers and children . We just pray that peace will return to the Home and things can be smoothed over. People are just in disbelief that they have treated us like they have."


So where are we at now? Last night we had a farewell around a fire which was so lovely and low key. We were given biriani which is the main thing to have at a special occasion. The girls sang and there were some speeches. Fortunately there had been so many tears earlier that it wasn't too much of a teary time apart from the smoke blowing in my eyes. I loved it as wood was thrown on the fire at inappropriate times like during a prayer and no one could hear over the crackling and and auto came driving up to drop someone off and parked right by the fire with his engine going as girls tried to sing over the top. I had to laugh as it is SO India.


I took a few items to dorm mothers from our home and one of them made me tea. We sat and she brought out a wee plate of broken biscuits and I looked at them and smiled. There was something in those broken biscuits that spoke to me. They were given in love and although they were broken they were still sweet, and I felt that although our dream here feels broken there is still a sweetness. We take from here love and an experience in my life I will never forget. I thank God for what he has given us and although it feels suddenly broken and taken away I can still look ahead and feel a sense of excitement of what's next. I need to concentrate on the sweetness and not the brokenness.


So there have been many tears and sobs and even wails from us, the girls, staff and volunteers. Yesterday two field workers came to see us and it's not easy to see two grown men cry.
We also had a visit from some shop owners that we frequent, they are Hindu but to be honest, they have shown more Christ likeness that many Christians here.


Many of the older girls have helped us pack and have mopped floors even before they needed mopping :) I didn't say anything because I knew they were desperate to be a part of us and help.


Last night after I came home from the Bonfire and farewell I climbed into bed. I was almost asleep when I felt a presence of someone in my room. I kept my eyes shut and pretended to be sleeping. The next thing I know I feel a sweet kiss on my cheek and an Indian accent saying "I love you mum" This was followed shortly by another girl giving me a kiss as I lay sleeping. I will take that with me always as one of the most tender moments and I wonder if they would have done it if I had opened my eyes.


Wow, this is a long post but I just feel the need to get it all down as I remember what has happened over these last few days.


Another touching moment I was told about was when a volunteer went into the study room to find some of the small children holding hand in a circle praying we wont have to leave. My little sweeties.


Now I will finish by saying how proud I am of our own kids. There have been many tears and some anger. It's been such a huge shock to us all but we will stick together and we will be ok. We will march head first into the future knowing we will take something with us from this place that we could never have from anywhere else and it will make us stronger. This is no shock to God so we just have to trust him to take us on the next Yatra.