As it is....

So I'm feeling a little frazzled today, feeling that what we have done is being questioned and doubted by others. Is our call to India legit? Did we come at the right time? Because it's been pretty tough at times, does this mean we are not supposed to be here? Because there has been times of sadness, does this mean we have missed the boat? Blah blah blah. It really made me have a good look at how we got here and if indeed we are supposed to be here and many other thoughts and emotions whirring through my mind.

So where to begin? Pull the thoughts down from a swirling mass above my head and try to make some sense out of it all.

Flip, why does this bother me so much? Why does it bother me that these things are being questioned.

I have no doubt that we have been called to India. This in no way makes us superior to anyone, it just means that God decided we could do something here rather than in NZ. It has been 15 years in the coming and this is something that we have been anticipating for sooooo long. So that one is a no brainer for me. Even if we got no extra prophetic words about coming we would still have been here sooner or later.

So, have we come at the right time? It wasn't like we tried to make it happen quickly, it all just fell into place so easily. House sold quickly, visas came astonishingly quickly and with an employment visa for both of us.

Finances were all good, we had the blessing of our church leaders and most of all.... it felt right and it still feels right. So really the question is... do I hear God properly, did we interpret everything falling into place properly. This leads me to my other thoughts...

Since we got here we have come up against all sorts of battles. Sickness, financial strain, emotional and relationship issues at times and really re assessing faith and what that means. Yes, it has been really hard at times but never once have I considered going back to NZ. It just does not enter my mind. The trials and tests have been extremely hard but what we have learned from them is huge and has strengthened us like nothing else could have. No sermon could have brought us to where we are now and we are still continuing to learn.

So all in all I have Joy in the trials but they have been really hard. So that raises the next question. Because it has been hard, does that mean we should not be here. That seems the craziest question ever. I know we should have joy and peace in our lives but I do not see that we get a life of green lights, I still believe there is a place for sacrificing our comforts and giving a bit of ourselves. Man, Paul was whipped and in prison, Jesus was crucified and I am sure that was not a fun filled time but they still found joy in it all. The thing we have been learning is how to find that joy when things are tough but it does not mean that there wont be difficulty in our lives.

I love love love being here in India. It is where my heart is, it is where our hearts are. We have come to the place we love, to the people we love and I am happy to be shaped and molded, to give a little so we can see God's kingdom come. I am here until God says otherwise.

So now that I have put my thoughts into a bit more of a rational thought pattern I feel better. I can answer that we are here because God brought us here at this precise time and is equipping us to do what we need to do and that is to just be us in the way that God wants us to be. It's OK that there have been obstacles because they have been turned to good. I am a stronger person than when I left NZ.